Navigating Challenges During Life’s Changes
We’ve all been there – that pit in your stomach when you’re about to start a new job, the ache in your chest after a breakup, or the mix of excitement and terror when moving to a new city. Life’s big changes have a way of turning our world upside down, leaving us wondering if we’ll ever feel “normal” again. But here’s the thing: everyone goes through these moments, even if it doesn’t always seem like every does. In this four-part series, we will discuss 12 common challenges that occur when shift happens and tips to navigate these challenges. In part one, we will tackle three of them: fear & anxiety, loss & grief, and identity crises.
1. Fear and Anxiety
Remember being a kid, lying in bed, totally freaked out by the dark? Every shadow looked like a monster. That pile of laundry- definitely a ghost. Well, turns out adulting isn’t all that different. Life throws us unexpected changes, and suddenly we’re back to feeling like that scared kid, only now it’s health uncertainties, spiritual doubts or relationship woes keeping us up at night. We get stuck, afraid to make a move because who knows what will happen, right? It’s like we’re paralyzed, scared to step on the creaky floorboard of life.
But it’s normal to be a little scared. Take a deep breath. You don’t need to have it all figured out. Sometimes, just putting one foot in front of the other is enough, even if you can’t see the whole path ahead. Let’s shine a light on those shadows!
Shift Happens Action Step:
Grab a notebook and pen, or open a notes app on your phone. Now, think about what’s keeping you up at night – those big, scary unknowns. Write them down, but here’s the twist: for each worry, jot down one small, concrete action you can take to address it. Worried about your health? Maybe your action is scheduling that check-up you’ve been putting off.
The key is to keep these actions small and achievable. We’re not solving world peace here – we’re just turning on a night light. Pick one of these mini-steps and commit to doing it this week. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and you don’t need to see the whole staircase. Just take that first step. Remember, even the bravest explorers started with a single stride into the unknown.
2. Loss and Grief:
Let’s bust a myth real quick: grief isn’t just about funerals. That empty feeling in your gut when you leave your childhood home for the last time? That’s grief. The ache when you realize your kid doesn’t need you to tie their shoes anymore? Yep, grief again.
Life is full of little deaths. A foreclosed home, a friendship fizzling out, or saying goodbye to a reality that no longer exists because of a life altering paradigm shift – they all come with their own flavor of loss. And it’s okay to feel it, even if it seems silly to others.
Maybe you’re mourning the future you thought you’d have, or the person you used to be. It’s like your life was a jigsaw puzzle, and now some pieces just don’t fit anymore. Frustrating? You bet. Normal? Absolutely.
What can you do when you are navigating challenges? First, cut yourself some slack. There’s no “right” way to grieve these changes. If you need to, let the tears flow, scrub your apartment with furious energy, or write poetry- do whatever helps you process.
Shift Happens Action Step:
Write a letter to what you’ve lost. Pour out all those feelings onto paper. Then write a letter back to yourself from that loss. What would it say? What lessons or strengths did it leave you with?
Remember, grief isn’t a sign that you’re weak or stuck in the past. It’s proof that something mattered to you. And that capacity to care deeply? That’s a superpower, my friend. It’s what’s going to help you build an even richer life as you move forward. So, feel those feelings. Honor what was. Then, when you’re ready, start looking for the new pieces that might fit into your life puzzle. They’re out there, waiting for you to discover them.
3. Identity Crisis
Big changes can make us ask, “Who am I now?”. Maybe you’ve always seen yourself as a “career person,” and now you’re a stay-at-home parent. Or you’ve defined yourself by a relationship that’s now ended. This in-between state can make us feel vulnerable and insecure.
Here is an example: you’re staring at the ice cream section in the grocery store like it’s some sort of life-altering cosmic decision. Chocolate or vanilla? The old you would’ve scoffed at such indecision. But plot twist: your taste buds are staging a rebellion and whispering sweet nothings about… frozen yogurt? Who even are you anymore?
And to add insult to identity injury, you catch yourself side-eyeing those people who still seem to have it all figured out. You know the type – they practically radiate certainty from their pores. Meanwhile, you’re over here radiating “I showered today, and that’s a win” vibes.
So if you’re feeling lost in this limbo, know that it’s not just normal – it’s necessary. You’re not stuck; you’re incubating. This is a chance to rediscover yourself. What parts of your identity still fit? What additional aspects can you explore? It’s okay to feel lost, but you are not lost. You are evolving. This new version of you that’s emerging might just blow your old self out of the water.
So, next time you’re paralyzed in the frozen dessert aisle, remember: your indecision isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you’re expanding your horizons. You’re not just choosing between chocolate and vanilla anymore. You’re crafting a whole new flavor of you!
Shift Happens Action Step:
Try a brainstorm session. Grab a pen and paper (or your phone if you’re fancy) and make two lists. First, jot down all the things you’ve always loved about yourself. Maybe you are the office comedian or a closet poet. Then list all the things you’ve secretly wanted to try but never had the guts (or time) to do. Always wanted to learn to salsa dance? Put it down. Curious about pottery? On the list it goes. Think of it as window shopping for new personality traits.
Then pick one item from each list and incorporate them into your week. Maybe you’ll write a funny poem and share it with a friend, combining your wit and your secret artistic side. Or perhaps you’ll sign up for that dance class. Remember, you’re not discarding the old you – you’re simply integrating some exceptional new enhancements. Think of it as customizing your avatar in a game called Life. The new you is under construction, and that’s pretty exciting!
Wrap Up
Navigating challenges during life changes can seem daunting, but they’re also opportunities for growth. We’ve explored how to handle uncertainty, cope with various forms of loss, and navigate shifts in personal identity. These experiences are common to all of us, even if they sometimes feel isolating. Remember, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed or unsure during these transitions – that’s part of the process.
Good news: there are more nuggets of wisdom on the way! Be sure to check out Part 2 of this four-part series where we will talk about emotional turbulence, financial uncertainties, and social reshuffling for additional insights and practical strategies to help you thrive during life’s changes.
If you’re finding these transitions particularly difficult, or you simply want some extra support, consider reaching out to Dawn of Changes. We are here to partner with you to navigate challenges during life changes more effectively. Questions? Check out our FAQ’s page for commonly asked questions or contact us for your personal questions.